Ignore the ridiculous christmas pun.
Today is my 12th day of freedom from hospital. Which also means I’ve been clean for 12 days. It has not been easy but it does feel good. Since going up to 300g of antipsychotics the voices in my head have been more like a quiet echo in the background rather than being right up in my face. I can focus on me finally.
On Friday I went to see The Rise of Skywalker, my god I loved it. Towards the end of the film is was getting very anxious, not because of the film but because there was a chance that Carla was being discharged. I couldn’t get a hold of her at first and I was a mess. Fortunately her Mum was able to talk with me. I went to her house to speak with her mum and dad, they really comforted me. Driving over there I was crying so much. They’re So good to me.
I asked my boss to cover me on Thursday as I was feel very low and needed to try and get my housing situation sorted out. He’s really good to me too. I can’t sort it out till the new year though. It’s pretty stressful, thankfully my mum is helping me. Going back to work has been really good too. I need the money but I need the routine and distraction more.
im working a double shift on the 24th, 25th and 26th, by choice, as I can feel quite low at christmas. It’s better to be proactive and plan ahead.
Yesterday I read a really good book on autism. I wanted to understand autism better and this book stood out as being simple to read but extremely effective and insightful. I got a referral for an autism test, and the funding has been approved, so reading the book has helped me und some things better. Plus someone very close to me is on the spectrum. I really wanted to help her too, more so than myself.
Hopefully today I can get on with the next chapter in the book I’m writing. At least all my Christmas presents for my loved ones are wrapped.