Life after my admission has been a rollercoaster, again🤣 The first day I got out was just plain awful. If you’ve watched my gratitude video I did yesterday you already know what I’m talking about.
Yesterday and today have be better. Today I had a much needed haircut thanks to my good friend Aedea. I played Pokémon Go at Bluewater for three hours and then went to visit my best friend Lewis at his home where I was yet to meet his baby Girl. That was such a joy. His little boy likes me and when I held his baby girl, who was crying, and rocked her gently she calmed down instantly. That’s the joy of being a parent yourself; you just know what you’ve got to do to make the children happy. I still dearly miss my own children. Hopefully I can see them on Christmas Day. If I can have anything for Christmas it would be to see my children.
I did have a dip in my emotions today. Towards the end of the time I was at bluewater it began to dawn on me how lonely I felt again. I think it was mostly because I kept seeing couples and couples with children everywhere I looked. I miss my relationship with Carla. I hope she can sort herself out enough soon to want to get back to our relationship. I feel like I’ve made a lot of progress since coming out to prove to myself that I’m heading down the positive path again.
Tomorrow I’m going to start on my third book, I’m looking forward to that journey. Although I’m gonna have to live through the past two years in my head again. It’s ok though, the result of this book will be phenomenal.
