Im writing a second entry, I just to need to express myself safely. I miss her so much, as needed as this break is it just makes me miss her even more. The worst part is not even knowing how she feels about it. Why is the thought of her not thinking of me such a bother? Why can’t I just let go? There’s a lot of things I should just let go of. I hate how emotionally wrapped up I feel about things; positive and negative. Its half ten at night and I should be laying in bed next to her. Instead I’ve put myself in this stupid place again. It‘s so lonely and I keep crying😭 My meds need to hurry up and kick in. At least the consultant increased my quetiapine to 200mg at night. Hurry up and send me to sleep!
Hey, I know it’s of little solace but for me I find it helps to know what’s the illness and what’s me. The illness can settle and become manageable again u know that. So knowing what is the illness can be helpful to know what will go away. BPD is often primarily characterised as more than just the mood swings but the attachment. And a big part of the treatment for that is accepting that the BPD part of your brain is telling you what others think and feel but at the end of the day u don’t know (and thanks to the BPD were usually wrong). However a good bet is always to go with the opposite of whatever…