I’ve pretty much slept up until 3pm, with the exception of food, meds and physical checks. I slept well as expected. Upon my health check they said my pulse is too fast/high. Not sure if that’s the increased meds or anxiety or something else. I haven’t had a shit since Tuesday either, which is pretty normal for me after an OD, but not normal for a healthy body. right now, other than this blog, I’m laying here staring at one of my favourite photos of Carla whilst I wait for dinner to be served. Honestly I’m afraid right now. There’s too much uncertainty and I really don’t deal well with that. I sound like a broken record but my god do I miss her. But I feel like I don‘t deserve her, or anything good right now. I’m trying so hard to do the right thing and go down the right path. Please guide me towards what is right.
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