I’ve felt lonely, anxious, agitated and low on and off whilst in here but right now I‘m struggling with voices and suicidal thoughts. “Scoooott”, ”Scoooot!”, “Kill yourself!” And “Hurry up and kill you self!” are common chants that they keep repeating. I know they’re not real but it’s so annoying and I’m struggling to not give in. Tomorrow I’m likely to be out of this place and not knowing if I’m going to a place of safety isn’t helping at all. I just wish my mind would be peaceful for just one day. No sadness, no voices, no panic, no paranoia and no stress. Just calm. That’s all I want. I’ve experienced dissociation today, which I’ve not had in here as of yet. I think I’m just overwhelmed. I miss my darling so much. I miss being stable. I miss moments of happiness. I miss my children. I miss feeling like a capable adult.
Just think of all the reasons u have to get better! U need to stay strong I know it’s hard but your kids and your family and your loved ones love u no matter what so thank them by being the best you can be. Also addressing the voices and thoughts STFU 👎🏻😤 otherwise I’m just gonna start screaming the opposite of whatever they say 🤔 or maybe not I have an annoying voice but the sentiment is still their you have yourself a cheat sheet to know what’s right and what’s good. Do everything the complete opposite to the dumb brain 👌🏻We all love annoying those we don’t like and I’m sure theirs nothing u hate more than those…
Oooh Scott I am so so so sorry your feeling like this. It breaks my heart knowing your in so much pain and there is nothing I can do to help you. You don't deserve it Scott always remember that even though it doenst feel like it. The only thing we can do is keep reminding you that you matter and that the pain won't last forever and also your never alone. Never. Things I promise you will work out xx